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Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety questions and answers

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Q: Social Anxiety?
I have social anxiety and I want to overcome it. I'm very socially awkard around people and I get nervous as to what to say to people. Any suggestions? Thanks.

A: I totally agree with Cheryl F. Take small steps to become more social, and take medication as a last resort. The more social you are, the easier it gets. You start to realize that there really isnt anything to be afraid of- whats the worst that could happen? You begin to realize that everyone has issues, and not everyone is great at communicating with others. One thing I like to do is just fake my confidence. Try to go out and just pretend you are at ease. Smile and be friendly to people, who will probablly just consider you the quiet type. I used to have some major telephone anxiety. Im still not great at calling people, but the more I "just did it" the easier it has become. One thing I do is just always think about what I want to say before hand, and what topics to bring up that people might find interesting. If it makes you feel any better, just know that social anxiety is extremely common. I think its the second most common mental disorder after anxiety.

Q: How does depression/social anxiety medication work?
I'm 16 with a pretty bad case of social anxiety. My mom has agreed to use medication, though she is alittle hesitant because of repots that this type of medication gives suicidal thoughts to people under 18. I've been to therapy and though it gave me some good pointers that I use everyday to help me through the social part of my social anxiety, it doesn't get rid of that "worried" filling that I can sometimes feel continuously. That feeling actually consumes my whole mood at times. The therapy has only helped with talking to people, and even then it has only helped alittle. But I would like to know more about this type of medication before I actually take it. I'm sure my doctor will tell me some stuff too, but how does it actually work? How will it make me feel better?

A: Hello 'Dreamer', The fact that you have social anxiety disorder is comforting. Your diorder is considered part of a neurotic condition (disordered mood) as opposed to a psychotic condition (disordered thinking/thoughts). The former is easier to treat some believe, and is a less severe diagnosis partly because your symptoms of acute and chronic anxiety in public or social situations is a less severe defecit in functioning than bi-polar disorder (manic depression) or schizophrenia (thought disorder). Don't mind the language, so far your symptoms are less severe and obvious to the 'man on the street' than other more serious mental disorders. Before we talk about any specific drugs used to treat your disorder, let's understand two things: 1. Some drugs prescribed by psychiatrists or other medical expert benefit more than one type of mental helath condition. So some drugs used to treat bi-olar disorder also work with schizophrenia, some drugs used to treat depression also have an anti-anxiety effect. 2. Anti-anxiety medications are generally necessary when cognitive/psycho-therapy alone is not successful in enabling the socially anxious person to feel 'normal' i.e. much less anxious in social situations (around people or requiring successful performance on some task, like a test, dealing with school, talking up in class, relationships etc). Some times persons with social anxiety are not completely diagnosed, meaning they are demonstating panic, phobia or signs of a genralized anxiety condition which is persistent worrying or anxiety regarless of whether the socially anxious person is facing a challenge of not. In other words the socially anxious person may have several symptoms which need to go into remission. Drugs along with therapy further enable symptoms to go into remission or disappear altogether, at least where neurotic disorders are concerned and often cases of psychosis as well. Where social anxiety is concerned the etiology/cause/mechanism of the disorder suggests: 1. A genetic predispostion which strongly suggests aberrant/untypical gene activity at some point of the developmental process or after birth. 2. This in turn creates the biological conditions (defective genes), along with your environment/family life or other circumstances to foster the presentation of mental illness in your case, social anxiety disorder. What these drugs do is to powerfully alter the unusal symptoms and so tranquilize the nervous system, alter diseased neural pathways, chemical activity in the brain spinal cord and peripheral nervous system activity. In social anxiety you may have an overactive pituitary gland and hypothalamus which along with the endocrine system creates the feelings of fright or flight by producing an overactivity of the endocrine hormone called adrenalin, (the fear hormone). A persistent sense of worry is also linked to thought processes at the subconscious and conscious levels in the brain. Again the drug(s) your doctor will prescribe will function to quiet down your nervous system, make you feel more relaxed and generally happier in terms of your mood generally. You however need to alwasy take your drugs and at the appropriate time in order to reap the maximum benefit from them (and despite any unpleasant side effects tha tmay occur). In most cases they are not a permanent cure and some symptoms can return once you stop drug therapy. More specifically the drugs either increase or prevent the the over-production or under-production of certain chemicals in your brain which migrate between neural cells and neural complexes carrying messages. The cells in the brain are called neurons. Two major neurochemicals tageted in your brain for stabilization of their function are dopamine and seratonin. (please read up on these neuro-brain chemicals) because they do influence your mood and so have to be stabilized. Hope this helps and was not too medical. Please read a psychology book and look at the section/chapter on abnormal behaviour/psychology. It should help you with easy reading on your condition. I don't have the time to talk to you about depression i.e. clinical depression. The drug(s) prescribed for you will effectively treat your depression as well as the anxiety. Everybody gets anxious at some time or another so you can improve and possibly eventually come off your meds. 40% of persons or more also have a down time or depressive episode at some point in their lives . So clinical depression also can disappear. Again talk with your doctor if you feel comfortable to do so. Part of your healing will depend on educating yourself as best you can. Best of luck and God bless, Barry H

Q: Can I get social anxiety medicine my first visit to the doctors?
My social Worker referred me to an MD ( I think it’s an MD ) to give me social anxiety medicine. My anxiety is pretty bad and I have an appointment tommorow with one of them there. Do you think I could get the medicine tomorrow ?! How long will it take?

A: Probably, but it won't cure a thing. Medicines for mental disorders do nothing to fix the problem. All they do is numb your mind a little making things appear to be easier to cope with. If you want a lasting and satisfying cure, look into cognitive therapy and learn how to confront the cause of the anxiety. Here's a good start: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326

Q: How can Social Anxiety be controlled WITHOUT medication?
I have had social anxiety disorder for about 5 years now. I have even filed for SSI because I just can't seem to overcome it, and it definately affects my day-to-day life. However my education is leading me to a very social career path, and I really need to work to get over this anxiety problem. I never used to be like this before I had my first child, and I don't know why I can't seem to shake it now. What sort of things can I do to possibly ease myself back into being social? Oh, and the reason I don't want medication is because I've tried 2-3 meds and either they haven't worked, or I become a zombie. I have 3 young children to take care of, I can't be experimenting with meds.

A: Try to gradually work with yourself in getting into social situations. Do one on one contacts, just being a part of a group, knowing several people together, larger groups etc. The idea is to succeed with less difficult situations and gradually gain some confidence that you are willing to try the next step.

Q: What are some key differences between shyness and social anxiety?
Ever since I was a child I've been the quiet non-social type. Even today at the age of 21 I only have a couple close friends and am extremely shy. I often wonder if it's social anxiety or just simply extreme shyness. It's hard for me to initiate conversations with people, I hate when people compliment me sometimes, I feel awkward sometimes in public. I try to get out on weekends, but mostly by myself or with just one friend. I also suffer from panic attacks from time to time, but is rarely initiated from social situations

A: I don't know if there's a better clinical explanation, but to me shyness is just one way of avoiding social anxiety. Shyness is more of a personal trait of yours, whereas anxiety can be seen as more of a condition. There's a lot of things that can make you shy or at least appear to be. Most of the time I think it all just branches from being very self-conscious. If you worry about how you look, how you come off, how you sound, you will be very uncomfortable in any social situation. But if you do feel really nervous talking to people or even just being around them you probably have some kind of anxiety. I used to be like this. I'm more comfortable but I'm still bad at conversation. Anxiety is something you can really feel. You need to just put yourself out there to know. I personally don't think it's too relevant to know if it's anxiety. The most you can get from that diagnosis is some pills, and I honestly think those do more harm than good. It takes time and practice really to get over it. I don't see it as being too much of a problem. If you have some friends and you're happy with them, that's great. I think too many friends can just a hassle. It's the really good ones that count, and those are few. If you are having non-related panic attacks then that is something else, but still important to look at.

Q: If you have a social anxiety how do you handle all the millions of real people on yahoo answers?
I've seen a lot of questions on here by people with social anxiety but I never understood how they could handle it on-line in here with all these people with those anxieties. Them's is real people. All you guys answering are actual people, aren't you?

A: I dont have social anxiety but I do have fears and axienty that surround people.. I can tell you there is a huge difference between face to face contact and online contact... want to know what it is?? Power button. It serves as a safety mechinism... I am lucky to open my front door twice a month and usually actually leave my house once a month on most months due to fears related to people.. But I maintain some contact with people online.... at least to some degree on a daily basis.. It is a much safer alternative for me as I am sure it is for people with social anxiety. that would be my opinion on the topic 29 yr old diagnosised with schizophrenia

Q: How can I get treatment for social anxiety?
I've displayed several symptoms of social anxiety/phobia, but I don't have any health insurance so I can't seek professional help. I live in California - is there a program of some sort that can help me with this, that doesn't require insurance?

A: View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior. Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit. Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me". Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind. Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people. Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Xylitol, or Stevia is preferable, (health food stores) or fruit sugar (fructose, such as "Fruisana", from supermarket sugar aisles) or even a little honey, because these will reduce "sugar spikes". Valerian has also been recommended, but some people experience "valerian hangovers". Ensure you know how you react to it, before doing something potentially dangerous, like going out on the roads. The idea is to use the above like water wings, to provide initial, short term support, while you become proficient in the above techniques.

Q: What medications help with social anxiety?
What medications help with social anxiety? I know that there are a lot of anti-anxiety drugs but I am looking for any that specifically help with social anxiety. And I'm not interested in alternative methods other than medications. I already know of all of them.

A: Zoloft is specifically for social anxiety as well as range of others. Good Luck.

Q: how can I deal with my social anxiety at work?
I'm six months pregnant right now so perscriptions are out of the question. My midwife says I shouldn't be taking any anti-depressants or anything like that. But my boss put me on the cash register full time. It's really hard for me to look people in the eyes, talk to them, and even associate with them. I feel as though they're trying to pick out my flaws or something. A lot of them get really impatient with me. When these things happen, I start to get nauseated to the point where I have to run to the bathroom. My social anxiety is really getting to me. I've never been a people person, but I'm determined to keep this job because I want financial income for this baby. Does anyone know how to cope with social anxiety at work without taking perscrips?

A: I agree with your midewife - no medication right now - maybe in the future. I know exactly what you're talking about. I spent my life too afraid to even ask someone on the street what time it was. I didn't want to "bother" them with my petty question. I was afraid they'd get upset with me. What to do? Well, for right now, until the baby is born and until you are finished breastfeeding him/her, you have to deal with it without meds. And the only way to get around the problem is to go through it. Here's what I did: I picked people whom I thought I could trust not to get upset with me or put me down. Somebody who seems to be in a good mood - a smiling old timer or young person, and "PRACTICE" on them (kids are great to practice on). It's the only way you're gonna get through it. If you were to go to a professional for help, they'd have you do the same thing. Just start with a smile and a "Hi". Practice looking them in the eyes when you say it. Then try, "Hi, how are you?" or "Thank you, have a good day!" like you really mean it, always with a smile. Then increase your verbal interaction to some small talk like, "Wow, that's some nasty / beautiful weather out there today!" or "I use this product at home and I like it". Make a game of it - try to see if you can pick out the people who you think will be in a good mood, don't worry about keeping score, and don't worry about the cranky people for now. When you do run across a crabby person, tell yourself this: "There must be something bad going on in their life right now for them to act like that" or "A kind person wouldn't act like that" and "That's about THEM, not me". If you do make a mistake and screw something up, tell yourself, "It's okay - nobody's perfect, and considering I have a problem with anxiety and people is all the more reason that it is understandable for me to make mistakes. I WILL get through this, I WILL learn my job and be able to do it EASILY some day. I Will get over my social anxiety some day, but I'm okay where and how I am today." It is so important that you keep telling yourself AND START BELIEVING that you are okay just the way you are. You don't have to be perfect, it's okay to make mistakes, even a lot of mistakes - life is for learning. EVERYONE HAS FLAWS AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES. They may be different from yours, but that doesn't make them any better than you. It could be that their flaw is that they have a crummy personality or no patience or are too judgemental. I think social anxiety stems from a low self-esteem. I use to tell people, "I don't have a "low self-esteem", mine is even lower than than low! On a line of 1 to 10, mine is in the negative numbers!" I had no self-esteem at all and could not look at people or talk to them. I had no friends most of my life. But I was determined to get over it, because it was such a painful way to live AND I didn't want to teach that fear to my children as my mother had done to me. (I don't blame her for it, there was no help available back then.) So I just kept practicing and practicing, even when I was scared to death. I had to keep telling myself, "Linda, you're okay the way you are - you're good enough - you have some very wonderful aspects about you that make you a very special person - you don't have to be like everyone else, you only have to be yourself, flaws and all, and that's good enough." Also, try this: If you have any close friends or family that you can talk to, ask them to tell you the good things they see in you. Write them down and read them from time to time. If you don't have anyone, then YOU make the list. It will be hard at first, but there ARE good things about you and you have to start trying to find them in yourself. And one more thing, tell yourself (without beating yourself up) that you are about to bring a child into this world and it will be up to YOU to teach that child to have a good self-esteem. It will be up to YOU to teach that child how to interact with others. If you don't start working on it now, how will you be able to teach your child? I had to keep telling myself this same thing when my children were babies. I was so afraid of people, I didn't want my children to grow up with that same fear. Yes, its hard, at first, but it works - neither of my children suffer from social anxiety, thank God! Good luck and God bless!

Q: What are the symptoms of social anxiety?
What do people with social anxiety act like? My mom thinks I may have it...? And how would you reverse these symptoms and over come the anxiety?

A: A. A marked or persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or to possible scrutiny by others. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way (or show anxiety symptoms) that will be humiliating or embarrassing. Note: In children, there must be evidence of the capacity for age-appropriate social relationships with familiar people and the anxiety must occur in peer settings, not just in interactions with adults. B. Exposure to the feared social situation almost invariably provokes anxiety, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed Panic Attack. Note: In children, the anxiety may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, or shrinking from social situations with unfamiliar people. C. The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable. Note: In children, this feature may be absent. D. The feared social or performance situations are avoided or else are endured with intense anxiety or distress. E. The avoidance, anxious anticipation, or distress in the feared social or performance situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia. F. In individuals under age 18 years, the duration is at least 6 months. G. The fear or avoidance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition and is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., Panic Disorder With or Without Agoraphobia, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a Pervasive Developmental Disorder, or Schizoid Personality Disorder). H. If a general medical condition or another mental disorder is present, the fear in Criterion A is unrelated to it, e.g., the fear is not of Stuttering, trembling in Parkinson's disease, or exhibiting abnormal eating behavior in Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa.

Q: Any tips for someone who has had social anxiety and now is overcoming it, looking to develip a humor?
I dropped out of school in the 9th grade due to social anxiety. Now i am 17 years old and am looking to make some friends in college. Notice that i missed out on the 4 most important years of socializing, learning what makes people laugh how to be funny, when to be funny, Ive been told before im as funny as a wall:(. Just wondering if anyone has tips on developing a humor.

A: Just remember not to take everything so serious. Listen to people carefully but understand that somethings maybe to make people laugh and not to be hurtful or mean. You'll get the hang of it soon enough. Try watching some sitcoms. They always have some funny situations in them or try to see the funny side of them. I know with my anxiety and stuff it has been hard for me to laugh with people. Sometimes you just don't want to hear it. So take your time and listen. Keep a smile on your face. You'll make plenty of friends in collage, some you can even share some of your past with. I'm sure once you get to know them you'll fit right in. Take and never give up!

Q: How do you overcome social anxiety without medication?
I've taken medication, and they don't work for me. So, how else could I overcome this? I really wanna make a change in my life...I'm tired of social anxiety holding me back. I rarely go out, and when I do...I feel extremely uncomfortable. When my friends call, I make up a reason to not talk to them or hang out with them. I want a job but I am nervous to find one. I need to get over this and start living life.

A: I was once the most socially awkward person . Used to avoid going out with friends, same deal etc. I never took any medication for it. What I did was I got a job in retail as a sales associate. I had to interact with people everyday people as part of the job. What I learned was this: everyone has some amount of social anxiety. They just deal with it differently. Some over-compensate and act out and speak loud to create an artificial air of confidence, others wear mohawks and try to be "different," others just try to blend in and do as their peers do. In the end, since everyone has fears like me, I had no right feeling inadequate about it. You will learn that everyone even the extroverts are awkward at times.

Q: How does consistent exercise change brain chemistry to overcome Social anxiety?
I have severe social anxiety, agaraphobia and everything that comes under this family . I know exercise can make it go away and if I am 100% healthy then my anxiety will be 0% . But I am trying to find out how it works ? .. What causes this huge change in brain that eliminates this destructive negative thinking patterns ? Anyone has any insights into this issues , please explain to me . Thanks

A: I have no scientific reason and can only tell you from experience that a brisk walk 20-30 min a day will help you feel so much better, I lost weight, had more energy, felt positive and had less stress. When you feel good inside it helps you to move forward and have confidence. Creates that chemical change in the brain with positive energy.

Q: What is the best medicine to not feel social anxiety?
I am very shy and anxious around people-. What is the most effective medicine for social anxiety? How do they work?

A: St. John's Wort and Omega-3 Fish Oil are effective and are much better than having to take prescription drugs with dangerous side effects.

Q: How to live with social anxiety and be content?
I have social anxiety disorder which has greatly hindered my life. I want to break out but I feel that I just cannot do it. I fear going to social events such as parties because I am afraid people will judge me and I will be embarrassed, therefore I avoid social gatherings whenever possible. The downside is that I have no friends and am a male virgin in my 30's which nobody can understand. I feel lonely and ashamed. I accepted the fact that my shyness is an inborn personality flaw that cannot be changed and the only thing to release me from it is death. Essentially, I have given up. As I have become more religious, I have stopped fearing my own death and have been looking forward to it, but I don't want to answer to God for suicide. Is there anything that I can do to live a somewhat content life with this handicap until I die?

A: Have you tried seeing a doctor, psychologist or trying meds? I only have mild social anxiety, but I have dealt with debilitating depression and general anxiety before. Therepy and antidpressants were the only things that helped. Good luck!